Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
