But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
