guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
