great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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