oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
