Already got asked if we're dating
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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