all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
