id be glad to
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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