Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
