It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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