she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
