Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
