I think I died a long time ago.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
