last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
