Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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