Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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