come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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