Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
