That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
not ubering you a puppy
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