Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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