Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
