So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
