Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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