btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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