Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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