just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
