it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
MIDGETS
????
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
