why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
