So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
