I'm gonna have a badass scar
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Green mimosas i think yes
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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