Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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