I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
