I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize