Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So much rum. So many feels.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
