So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
