I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize