New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
