Do you still have your period?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
