I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I FOUND THE LEGS
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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