even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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