He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
