Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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