Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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