i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
