Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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