At least make sure they are 18
Why
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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