I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
