we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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