she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
