My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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