whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
