So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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