I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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