Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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