miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
