I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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