hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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