You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
