dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
