He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
