i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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