Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
