just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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