She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
